Enough, too much, need more

Whenever I buy clothing and the clerk asks, “Do you want it on the hanger?” I always say, “No, thanks.  They multiply in the closet.”  Yet somehow, every year, I end up taking a bag of hangers to Goodwill.  That trip this week made me think of today's topic.

Enough

There is an exercise I heard described.  A group of students are invited to a special meal.  When they arrive they draw a random number from a basket and then sit around a table all decked out for a holiday.  The host then asks, ‘Who’s got number 5?”  The kid raises her hand and the host calls to the kitchen.  Out comes someone carrying a tray holding a plate of beans and puts it front on the student.  Number 6 gets 2 hot dogs; number 8, one scoop of plain rice; number 3 gets a meal from KFC; and so on.  It may take a while, but ultimately the kids figure out that there is enough food in the room to feed everyone if they share.
Me?  I want:

§  To recognize 'enough' sooner.
§  Enough tension so that the rubber band of my life is stretched to be obviously in use.  I don’t want it to be slack or pulled too tight so it will snap.
§  Enough cardinals and finches in balance with the sparrows, mourning doves and starlings.

Ø  What’s your ‘enough’ story or wish?

Too much

When we were cleaning out my mother’s apartment we found more than 50 packages of dental floss and a couple of months ago I discovered in the depths of my cupboard that I’ll never have to buy another razor. 

For me:
§  It’s the season where there are too many times when I want to turn off the TV or radio.    There is too much rhetoric, posturizing, finger-pointing, and, indeed hatred in print or the airwaves that poisons our political process.
§  There is too much noise.
§  There are too many choices for so much in our lives.

Ø  What’s your ‘too much’ line item?

Need more

Here’s where I’m putting more energy.  I want to discover or create more:

§  Pleasant surprises, like on my walk this morning when I suddenly heard chickens on the other side of a wooden fence.  Yes, here in suburbia.
§  Woo hoo moments to celebrate with friends
§  Laughter in the everyday events
§  Authors like those I enjoy
§  Opportunities to participate in the arts of all kinds, even if I don’t do well or even like what I see or hear
§  Chances to be proud of my country.

Ø  What’s your ‘more’ dream or action plan?

Would love to hear how you answer some of the questions!  Meanwhile, I wish you enough of the basics, too many hugs to count and fewer problems this week.
Marilyn

The Eyes Have It

Last Tuesday I got my first contact lens.  Just one.  It took 25 minutes in the doctor’s office for me to get it in (on?) my right eye the first time.  This morning it only took 5 and today I get to wear the lens all day.  I’m still tentative while learning this new skill.  I’m not squeamish about touching my eye, but there are tapes in my head from decades ago when my college roommate got her first pair of hard lenses.  The kind that used to suddenly pop out and forced people to say, “Nobody move!  Drop to your knees and look for my contact!”   That doesn’t happen these days since the lens is so soft and pliable that it folds or turns inside out, but still, the whole idea is actually a marvel.

My eyes and brain have not mastered their new skill either.  They have not adjusted to one eye being distance and the other for close up.  That means I’m still wearing my reading glasses over the contact.  I’m not able to give up my fun familiar accessory.  Their replacement isn’t working yet and/ or the prescription may need to be tweaked.  I don’t remember such a lengthy adjustment period with bifocals nearly 20 years ago.

There have to be some parallels to life here.  Not seeing clearly in new situations.  Not able to give up the old.  You can figure out how it applies to you and I’m hoping you might share!

Meanwhile, I’m focusing on 2 things:

• Beating my time from yesterday of 3 minutes to remove the lens
• Finding jazzy sunglasses as my new fashion statement.

Marilyn

Destinations

Twenty-five years ago I went to Wilmington, DE for a strategic planning session with a client.  The airfare for my trip was significantly less than what others who had met with the client earlier in the month were charged, making Donna, my assistant, and me quite happy.  She gave me an envelope with the travel details, including confirmation at a new Hyatt recommended by the client, and airline tickets on United for flights to and from O’Hare.

We took off and landed on time.  It was a pleasant late afternoon on the East Coast.  Within a couple of minutes my bag was in the trunk of a blue and white taxi and I was asking the driver to take me to the hotel.  That’s when the adventure began.  “I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said, “There is no Hyatt.”

Thinking perhaps I’d misread and maybe it was a Hilton, I pulled out my travel docs.  No, there it said Hyatt, so I gave the driver the downtown address.  “Ma’am,” came the response, “I’m not familiar with that street.”

It took several goings back and forth before the driver said the magic words, “North Carolina.”  Until that moment I was not aware there was a Wilmington, NC.  I looked at the license plate on the cab in front of us and read North Carolina, but just to be sure, I walked over to the newspaper boxes lined up on the sidewalk.  Sure enough, the mastheads confirmed that I was not where I’d expected to be.

Isn’t that true of so much in life?  We start with one major in college only to learn about NC and that besides Wilmington, there is also Winston-Salem.  We meet someone we think will be our Wilmington, DE friend but it turns out they are more NC.  A project takes an unusual turn and suddenly we discover Wilmington, IL. 

What we do with all our Wilmington’s is really up to us.  Are we open to a different state, the surprise journey?  Or are we so committed to the plan, is the original goal too set in concrete, to allow for a side trip or a revision?  Sometimes the original must stand.  After all, I had a client with a need, but while waiting to get back on the correct route I had the opportunity to walk a lovely area.
 
Such a mistake is probably impossible in today’s travel environment.  How did it happen?  The flight was cheaper because it was an introductory rate for United’s first day of flying to Wilmington, NC.  The sign at the gate said flight 123 to Wilmington and that is what the attendants announced. No one along the way mentioned the state.  For that era, it made sense.

It turned out the best way to get to Wilmington, DE from Wilmington, NC was to return to O’Hare.  Yes, sometimes we need to go back to the beginning to get where we want and need to go.  But let’s enjoy and understand the detours along the way and be open to changing the course when we can.

Diplomas

It’s the time of year when people walk across a stage and are recognized for their years of homework and attending classes and being in band or on the track team or on the school newspaper.  Yearbooks are passed around and signed – well, actually, do they do that anymore?  Students finishing 5^th and 8^th grade know what comes next.  Most high school seniors have made plans for the summer and beyond.  Today’s college graduates must deal with the challenges of the economy as well as their soon-to-be-due student loans.

But, what about the majority of us who struggle with day-to-day life?  Where are our diplomas?  It’s time we also are acknowledged.  So, here’s my attempt at passing out some needed recognition. 

Congratulations to those who have:

Kept their mouth shut	Whether at work or home or in some volunteer role, here’s a high five for keeping your mouth shut when you had a mouthful to say or for those hours of listening to the same story over and over. Award yourself a Master’s of Patience.
Stuck-to-it	Whatever you’ve remained faithful to, here’s your Master’s of Hang In There.
Walked away	When you could have let go with a rampage or a slap on the face or wrist, make yourself a Master’s certificate of I Took the High Road.
Courage	Whatever challenge you have faced, be it life threatening or something tempting, you are awarded a Master’s of Facing Fears.

That’s just a beginning.  Everyone needs a badge of some kind, even those of us just going about our business.  What “Master’s of…” would you like to create and share?  Or what are you awarding yourself?  Me?  I’m going to claim a Master’s of Possibility for taking a risk to put questions like these out in the universe.

Hope you’ll share yours or one you’re awarding to someone in your life.

Marilyn

Field trips

Not from the Buffalo Zoo

My first field trip was also my first visit to the Buffalo Zoo.  I was six and in first grade.  I remember the anticipation, the bus ride, and that it was a cold and gloomy day.  Nothing about the zoo. 

My last school field trip took the entire day.  We rode the train to Corning, NY to see the process of glassmaking and the beauty of the finished product.  In between those first and last outings were trips to the Albright-Knox Art Gallery, the science museum, and the Wonder Bread plant. We must have gone to Niagara Falls and the power project with all its exhibits about electricity, but I have no memory of that field trip.  

Field trips are adventures.  They are learning and growth opportunities.  They expose students to something new or may help them see something in a new way.

Yes, that is a coyote!

Adults need field trips too. While some may be educational, what they also are is a break from the routine, a chance to refresh, or to be a kid again.  

Last Tuesday I made one of my frequent visits to the Morton Arboretum (www.mortonarb.org). Driving through or walking a path there calms me.  Sometimes I have to make a decision on whether the visit is for exercise, for gathering items for art projects, or to practice with a camera.  As you can see, this visit was the latter.

Being in nature centers me.  Even a walk through my neighborhood can seem like a field trip on those days when I’ve been stuck in my head or struggling with an issue.  One friend might describe her tennis lessons as a weekly field trip and another, his yoga classes as a field trip of relaxation or to inner peace.  An engaging book can take us on an adventure, and while we need that kind of mind stretching, it is not the same as experiencing a real journey.

What field trips do you regularly take?  Why?  What’s a favorite? What ones do you have planned for the year?  If ever you would like one to the arboretum, just let me know.  I'd love to share my favorite with you and would love to share your favorites with others!

Here’s wishing you safe travels - whether for a few hours or several days - for all the field trips you take!

Marilyn

Hide n' Seek

What childhood game does your life feel like right now?  Are you the cheese standing alone or have you been “It” racing around trying to tag someone else? 

Maybe in some area of your life you have a bit of ‘Simon says’ going on, being directed to do this or that by outside forces.  Have you been blindfolded, spun around and now your arms are outstretched searching for that illusive donkey? 

Perhaps you relate more to being the victim in the library with Colonel Mustard or are lucky enough to have everything you need to pay the for the hotels on Park Place.

Me?  It’s Mother-may-I?  There’s a goal and I’m trying to get to it.  I’m asking “May I do this?” but the answers have been “No, but you can do this instead” or “Wait ‘til the next turn.”

I enjoyed the question for this musing.  It popped into my mind as I walked the neighborhood.  I had to go home get my camera and start over.  Reminded me of Sorry.

The answer for me took some thought.  What about you?

Silver linings

No matter how much of an optimist you are, some clouds simply do not have silver linings.  Other clouds have to blow over before you discover what was there to see or learn or appreciate.  Like how the loss of a job led to a book and a blog.

We’ve had some dramatic storms lately.  Even as I write there is thunder in the distance.  A reporter on the radio just used the phrase, “people who live in weather-prone areas.”  I chuckled at that description.  Don’t we all know people who have dark clouds overhead continually, making their own weather-prone area?!  I’ve known dogs that are inconsolable as they cower under the bed during downpours.  One friend helped her five-year old son confront his fear of storms by reframing lightning into ‘nature’s fireworks’ and responding to each loud clap of thunder with their own round of applause and a shout of ‘Go, God!’

We try to be prepared, but we have learned that a storm is something we cannot control, must experience and let run its course.  I’ve endured some traumatic storms and you probably have too.  Losses that brought tears clouding my worldview.  Days that remained overcast inside when the outside was bright and clear. 

I have one friend who is enthralled with weather.  Weather-related websites are prominent in her favorites list, but she was recently reminded that storms are not always predictable.  An unexpected and troublesome tempest recently disrupted her life.  It is forcing uncomfortable discussions and the confrontation of old hurts and grief.  Some of us have known similar clouds and can predict this: when the fog scatters, life can actually be better.  Different, but better.

For me right now, there is a cloud on the horizon.  It may be a fluffy cumulous cloud that will float on by.  Or, it may morph into something to which I will need to quickly react.  If so, I’ve got my umbrella and boots ready and binoculars out to see if there is a silver lining.  I’m going to hope there is.

Where are the clouds or the storms in your life?