What Are You More Than?

Many years ago when visiting a new mom, my first question was about how she was doing and not about the baby.  She burst into tears.  “Thanks for remembering that I’m more than a mother,” she said while I merely nodded and tucked away two kernels of truth – we are more than our current headline and sometimes we need to be reminded of that.

My question was not intentional.  It was more that she was there and the baby was not and I had already seen and held the baby.  But obviously my question hit a needed note. 

You’ve been there yourself.  Whether your significant event was celebratory like a baby or a wedding, or a difficult issue such as a divorce or disease, your world, at least for the moment, revolved around that circumstance and you got used to hearing and answering the same questions from everyone in your circle.  This blog actually began as a series of weekly emails to my friends to keep them updated on my job search and later morphed into these musings.

The flip side of those common questions about our current situation is what we ourselves bring to social dialogues.  If all we talk about is our joy or our misery then we have allowed a tragedy or a happiness or a cause to define us. We can become so engrossed in our career we may not realize that our headlines consistently shout what we do, forgetting that what we do is not who we are. 

In those times in our lives when we are in-between dramatic headlines we become used to conversation that doesn’t require us to continually bare our souls or repeat the litany of the latest update.  This season of parties and gatherings, I’m going to try to remember that I am more than my current situation and so are those with whom I am breaking bread or sharing a drink.  So, if we meet and my opening question is, “What was the best gift you ever gave?” please don’t think I’m not interested in what’s going on in your life.  I’m just giving us both a conversation holiday.

Marilyn