Any Place I Hang My Hat

A fortuneteller once read my tea leaves and said that even if I lived in a tent I would have flowers in a vase.  Her intuition wasn’t so much about decorative style as it was about my need to create a space that is comfy and cozy.  As I pack up and prepare to move I have been thinking about what makes a home and some aspects of the ones I have lived in.

Four walls.  For one year I lived in 14’x14’ room in a boardinghouse.  I had a black and white TV that I’d bought for $25 and since it was the only one in the house, folks would cram into my four walls to watch reruns of the original Star Trek.  When it was time for me to move, everyone helped. Four walls can box you in or expand with the support of others.

Shared space. In college we had inspections, so roommates had to keep their space at least tidy. It was in my first place after college that I really discovered people have a different sensitivity about what defines ‘clean.’  More important, I learned about my need for community.  That’s what helped me make the decision to buy a house with two friends.  What was lacking in that first apartment I gained a decade later in a 2-flat, where friends lived upstairs and I lived down.  We each had a home within a home.  Shared space does not always mean connection, commonality, or family.  But it can.

Windows:  My first apartment on my own was in a building similar to a motel where you walk along the row of picture windows and front doors.  Everyone knew who lived where and, because you could see in to their unit, the style and layout of their furniture.  Today my condo building is in the middle of shops on a main street.  From my 5^th floor unit at the back of the building I have a clear view overlooking a neighborhood of families in bungalows.  I love walking here and being able to see through the windows to what and who are inside the houses, but these neighbors cannot do the same with me.  Only the birds on my balcony for their breakfast or mid-afternoon snack know what’s going on in my living room.  One-way windows are isolating and require extra effort in order to be friendly.

I grew up in one house in New York, have lived in nine places in Illinois, and will soon move to the 10^th.   After assessing my experiences and hearing from those who have not ventured far from where they started off or those who have lived around the world, here is my conclusion: regardless of the number of structures we inhabit or the people living with us, an old proverb rings true - A house is made of walls and beams, a home is made with love and dreams.

How are the love and dreams within your walls and beams?  I hope they flourish this year.

Marilyn