We've All Got Issues

We’re familiar with the concept of recovering alcoholic but I recently read an author who called himself a recovering fundamentalist.  It made me smile.  Well, it was a sad smile, for I deeply understood what he meant.  It’s about growing up with a god who, like Santa, keeps track of naughty or nice, but where the consequences of naughty are much more than coal in your stocking.  And, no matter how hard you try, it’s about never being able to measure up to the expected good, for it’s a world where there is no concept of grace.  It’s a world where religion and denomination matter more than social justice or even spirituality.

As I reflected on adolescent years that enabled me to identify with that poignant recovering fundamentalist phrase, I decided to call myself a recovering child instead. 

Most of us still bear some scars from our childhood.  Many were bullied or were outcasts.  Some never believed they really belonged to the in-crowd even though they sat at the cool lunch table.  Others were ashamed of things at home, or… well, the list is endless as to what baggage we still cart around. 

I feel much more like a child now than I did at age 8 or 10 or 14.  And that’s generally a good thing.

But one area of my life where I struggle as a recovering child is in the realm of faith, which was where this musing all began.  When one grows up engrossed in the church, when one can recite the books of the Bible and all the best stories in each book, I have found it hard to approach those stories with fresh childlike eyes to see how it can apply to me today.  OK, Daniel survived the lion’s den and I’ve survived some of my own demons. 

Over the years I’ve given myself permission to examine a doctrine that I once accepted at face value and ask ‘what do I believe today?’  It’s been liberating to discover grey with a bit of ‘and’ instead of living a black/white/either/or life.  There can be creation and evolution; belief and doubt can co-exist. 

We’ve all got issues.  Whatever yours may be – spirituality, self-esteem, a fear of math or making a mistake, perhaps if you’re gentle with yourself and provide a new label, you may find it helps.  Now when I read the comics or ignore my chores I can shrug and say it’s because I’m a recovering child.

See ya later alligator,

Marilyn