Decoration Day

May 30^th used to be called Decoration Day. There were parades. Stores were closed. It was a day for soldiers. And picnics. I remember Decoration Day and when Congress passed the law changing the holiday to the 4th Monday in May so that we could have 3-day weekends. It was gradual, but we lost Decoration and gained Memorial. Today we recall more than fallen servicemen and women, and include all whom we have loved and are gone. It’s the unofficial beginning of summer. Instead of closing, many stores have sales to entice people in. It’s still a weekend for picnics.

Patriotism has taken different forms in my lifetime. Foreign flags are proudly displayed next to the stars and stripes on porches and front lawns in my neighborhood. I doubt that kids sing Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean anymore (“thy banners made tyranny tremble when borne by the red, white and blue”), but we boomers knew all the words to that along with so many other songs promoting nationalism.

Coming of age in the Vietnam War era meant we could be participants in rallies, marches, campaigns, screaming matches that divided our country into two. Each side was so sure they were right. An important lesson we have learned since then is to separate the war from those who fight in it. Our understanding of the horrors played out in the reality of war and their impact on those engaged in planning and carrying out defensive and offensive actions, while so much better than decades past, is still in its infancy. A poignant phrase that has entered our conversation is wounded warrior.

We saw our country divided again after the September attacks 15 years ago and see and hear it being played out in the pre-convention/pre-election rhetoric. The media mostly frames events in extremes that result in “I’m right and you’re wrong” thinking. Globally we seem to have lost our ability to think and act with the word ‘compromise’ in mind and consequently so many aspects of our world are stuck.

Decoration Day began as a way to honor veterans from both sides of the Civil War. On so many fronts civil skirmishes continue to divide our society. Perhaps in the common honoring of the past we can find some common ground for today and tomorrow. Let’s find ways to encourage dialogue instead of diatribes. Otherwise, the number of those we will be honoring on this day will only continue to grow.

Marilyn

Portions originally published in a 5/30/2011 musing