Getting back up

We’ve all fallen and been knocked down. Sometimes literally, but more often figuratively. Lots of times. In all areas of our lives. It starts when we are taking our first steps toward independence and exploration. Until we get our balance, we often end up on our bottom, stunned, with a ‘hey, what just happened?’ expression on our face. The adults around us chuckle and encourage us to not cry but to get up and try again. It continues when a sibling or playmate or school chum pushes us and we fall. That’s when we begin learning to both stand up and to stand up for ourselves.

Then we learn that we need to get back up after a disappointment, a failure, a loss, a series of bad luck events. Whether a broken heart, a poor grade, not getting the job or a promotion, we know we have to get back on the horse. Over time we learn our individual coping mechanism that helps us get back up and take the next step, and, unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, we learn what takes us to the end of our tether. It doesn’t matter that you endure something that breaks me or that I only bend when the same thing shatters another. Our reactions don’t mean than one person is stronger or weaker than another. It simply means we are at different points on a continuum or have different triggers.

What really is lamentable, however, is that over the decades we forget that with our first steps we are holding on. Usually to a hand. And, as much as we need to take those steps toward standing on our own on all levels, the flip side of that lesson is thinking that we always need to get back up all on our own. We forget those first times when we accepted, even needed, a hand to help us up, when we leaned on someone or something.

This year, life has reminded me how important it can be to accept that helping hand when offered, and to ask for it to be there like a safety net when needed. Perhaps it is a gift of age along with necessity that has enabled me to stop being so self-reliant. But it is a lesson learned that I would like to keep in play moving forward. After all, continuing to move forward in one’s life is why we get back up. I challenge you to think about an area in your life where you need to get back up but need a little help. Reach out. I believe you’ll find it’s not as hard as you thought and that a needed resource will appear.

Marilyn