Lasts (final in a trilogy)

It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.
                        …American proverb

Students learn that creating art of any kind involves the concept of resolution.  A similar view in mathematics is that there are conclusions.  We observers learn to recognize that the final chord of the Hallelujah Chorus and the Pythagorean Theorem and Bugs Bunny’s “That’s all, folks!” represent different types of resolutions, conclusions, endings.  We trust that in the last chapter of a story the issues between characters will get settled and that the mystery gets solved.   Other finales in our lives have us waving goodbye at the airport and cheering for the last runner in a marathon.   We drink the last dregs in the cup, celebrate when all the pieces of a puzzle fall into place, get irritated at someone who always has to get in the last word, and feel bad when being the last one picked for the team.  If we are so honored, we can hold someone’s hand while they breathe their last.

Lasts mark an ending but they also mark accomplishments.  Scientists responsible for the successful landing of the Mars rover now move on because their part of the project is over after years of study, planning, and testing.  Sometimes we think we understand a last and what will come after.  Johnny Carson’s last Tonight Show commemorated his transition into retirement, but I thought we would see him again, just in a different venue.  Bette Midler’s rendition of Johnny Mercer’s lyrics, “We’re drinking, my friend, to the end of a brief episode.  Make it one for my baby and one for the road,” was memorable and said there was still a long road ahead.  But there wasn’t.

Yesterday was the last Sunday in Advent, but Advent gives way to Christmas.  On the calendar we are approaching the end of the year, but we just celebrated the solstice and the beginning of winter.  Because of the culmination of circumstances over the past few years I have to move.  As I prepare to leave my home of nine years I am noting other things on the calendar, symbolizing many ‘lasts.’  Some, like changing the filter in the furnace for the last time remind me of things I won’t miss. Others, like decorating for my last holiday season here have been poignant, and still others, like last dinner parties with different friends, have been fun to plan and led to memorable evenings.

 

T.S. Eliot wrote, “In my end is my beginning.” Yes, firsts lead to lasts and lasts lead to firsts.  My current dilemma is that while I recognize there is a beginning on my horizon, I’m not there yet.  I’ve had to focus on the ending for a very long time without the benefit of knowing the details of the beginning.  I am trusting that soon I can start looking for a new home and then jump into all the planning that will come with that change. 

We’ve all had some ‘last’ that was imposed on us.  Whether it was a surprise break-up or being downsized, we discovered that we liked ‘lasts’ much better when they were of our own making.  Regardless of how we arrived at an end, the best lesson I’ve learned and which I’ve tried to emulate during this difficult time is summed up in a quote from Robert Louis Stevenson: “True wisdom is to …change with good grace in changing circumstances.”  

If there is a ‘last’ in your world, if the ground under your feet is shifting, OR, if as we approach the New Year you would like to have a change in your circumstances in some way, then look for the true wisdom inside yourself and follow what your heart and gut tell you.  Oh, and remember, whether you’re in a ‘first,’ in the solid ‘in-between,’ or, like me, in the middle of a ‘last,’ you don’t have to be alone.  That’s part of the message of Christmas.

Marilyn