Two for the Road

What good is the warmth of summer without the cold of winter to give it sweetness? John Steinbeck

By the time I started kindergarten I knew there were boys and girls and that Santa put kids into two categories: naughty or nice.   A couple of grades later friends fell into one of two activities – dance or music lessons.  The families in my neighborhood were Protestant or Catholic and some of us were good at sports and there were non-jocks. 

Through high school and college we experienced the ‘study all along’ vs. the ‘cram for exam’ groups, encountered friends who were of the ‘on-time’ or ‘always-late’ variety, and came to know who were morning or night people.  Then there was perhaps the hard lesson that there are givers and there are takers.  We learn compromise when one is a neat freak and the partner a casual housekeeper.  Financial advisors bridge a gap between spenders and savers.  We enjoy talking books with both fiction and nonfiction readers.

When I was a consultant and led workshops on leadership I would include a section on understanding other ways that we are wired differently and how such diversity can benefit one’s life and the workplace.  Now, as a mentor, I try to pass on these tidbits I wish I’d known about earlier in my life and career.  Some of them we can control or change.  For example, I might ask a young colleague how they want to be known – as someone who blames others or one who takes responsibility and stands accountable?    However, most of these other ways in which we are opposites reflect how we process things or view the world.  These characteristics reflect who we are, so while we may not want to – or be able to – control or change them; it will truly help us in our relationships if we understand ourselves and the natural tendency of others to be different.

ü  Some people think-to-talk and others talk-to-think.  One cannot lead a brainstorming session nor have great discussions without taking this into account.  Otherwise we talk-to-thinkers take over and half of the team remains silent. 

ü  Some people are what and others are how.  Big picture and idea people need the balance of those who are process and strategy.

ü  Some people talk facts while others talk feelings.  Even being a writer and knowing the importance of details, my natural inclination is the essence of the story not whether the man’s shirt was red or orange or the if amount was $22 or $22.22.

What other learnings about our differences do you wish you’d known earlier in life?  Let’s take a minute today to celebrate – viva la difference!

Marilyn