Football and Charlotte's Web

On a recent business trip my choices for dinner were limited.  The hotel shuttle would take me to any of the few places on the Island that were open and the driver recommended a local grill for good burgers or seafood.  That’s how I ended up in a sports bar on a busy Saturday night, extra busy because the local team was playing.  As I sat alone watching the activity projected on the 10 screens visible from my vantage point indoors and listened to the enthusiastic fans all around me, I thought about the first time I ever ate alone in a restaurant.   It, too, was a Saturday, but I went out for breakfast since that was the suggestion in one book on being an independent successful woman. 

Now, this was 40 years ago, a time when going out to eat as a form of entertainment and connection (“let’s do coffee”) was just becoming a norm, and the National Organization for Women wasn’t even a decade old.  After parking my blue bug (nicknamed Sapphire) down the block, I confidently walked into Tiffany’s, a restaurant on Park Boulevard in Glen Ellyn.  When the hostess asked, “How many?” I croaked out, “One.” 

I had picked that place because several coworkers and I went there frequently for lunch so I was familiar with the layout, atmosphere, and menu.  I followed the hostess to my table for two, one of four tables for two lined up by the front window.  First dilemma – do I sit facing the interior of the restaurant or look outside?  Either way, everyone, of course, will be looking at me sitting alone.  Do I want pitiful fleeting glances from those walking by or constant stares from fellow diners?  I actually opted for facing in, sat, and she took away the other place setting, the true symbol that I was alone.  

The second dilemma came after ordering the French toast.  I had brought a book, which was another suggestion from the authority on dining out.  Well, I discovered that small tables for two are not really conducive to reading, so there I was with my prop and no way to use it.  I put it on the table across from me so it was still my companion.  I felt awkward but I made it through the meal listening to the conversation of the two guys next to me who were planning a camping trip and thinking about how walking into and sitting alone here was so different than at school or college. 

Since then I’ve eaten alone at hundreds of restaurants around the globe and mostly enjoyed those times.  But I had to make that first uncomfortable step.  For those of a younger generation, I hope you understand what a big deal that actually was for me and also that it was symbolic of one small freedom women were struggling for.  I’m sure guys can feel out of place in the same situation and I don’t mean to minimize anyone’s break out behavior, but society – then and in some cases even now – frowned on a woman dining alone.

Anyway, back to the title of this musing.  On nine of the 10 screens in the sports bar I was in last month there were several games of football being broadcast, but on the tenth one, way at the end of the bar, there played the movie Charlotte’s Web.  I found it all comfortable and charming.

Marilyn