Five lessons from the potholes of life

On my way home from work there is this place on Lake Street where my car knows to veer to the left to avoid a pothole. This pothole was very bad last winter, got repaired and filled up in the spring, but has reappeared in the last couple of months. Unfortunately the current needed wide veer puts me over the line into oncoming traffic.

Getting safely past it one day was when I realized that this pothole is much like the potholes of our lives. First, sometimes potholes come back, just like those challenges that we face where we learn one lesson and think we're done only to revisit the same issue, learn something new, move on confidently for a while but circle back for additional insights. Second, sometimes avoiding potholes puts you in as great a danger as the pothole itself. I think of those problems in a relationship where one or both parties ignore it until it has festered and poisoned the affection, love or trust.

Third, sometimes the potholes are marked because someone has been there ahead of us or because we leave a marker for those who follow. On the road that means an orange plastic cone to announce the danger or even those large sheets of metal so traffic can drive over the hole. In life, it means warnings, a helping hand and advise which we can ask for, heed, ignore or extend.

Next - and I really hate this one - some potholes are of our own making. There's a reason for the old saying of being your own worst enemy. And, accompanying this lesson is the final one, that is, often we can't rely on outsiders but have to find a way to deal with the pothole ourselves. As I recently thought about resolutions, I considered my annual promise to not go to bed as long as there are dirty dishes in the sink. I certainly didn't grow up with a messy kitchen being the norm and wondered how this issue had evolved over recent decades. Then I had one of those crystal clear moments. As long as the kitchen wasn't set back to right I wasn't through eating. Ummm, I said to myself, I think this is important, and so I faced a lifelong pothole of my own making from a new perspective.

Potholes can be annoyances. They can be dangerous. They can be external or internal, a small crack or a deep crevice. Potholes can be fixed permanently or only temporarily like the one that started this whole musing. I guess the biggest challenge is that we need to recognize them when we come upon them. Let's keep on the outlook this year for potholes and see what other lessons there are to be learned. When you find or face one, I hope you'll share.

Marilyn