When the time comes

One of my responsibilities at the office is our Business Continuity and Disaster Recovery Plan. Reviewing it periodically forces me to think about all the scenarios for which we need to be prepared. I’ve written procedures for preventative measures to either eliminate or minimize the possibility of their occurrence and make us better able to cope should they happen. Headlines reinforce the necessity to have such plans in place, so, if and when the time comes, people follow practiced protocols.

There are many personal situations, both good and bad, for which we want to be prepared so that, when the time comes, we will know what to do, what to say. A father hoping for some words of wisdom to whisper as he waits to walk his daughter down the aisle. The welcome to a newborn. Final words to someone who is dying, or when it is us ready to breathe our last, what we might say to those standing with us at our end. 

What I’ve learned is that, once all the practicalities are handled, there are only two important things in those moments. The first is to actually be in that moment and the second is to allow for human frailty for everyone involved, including myself. These things are not easy. I still have a hard time staying in the moment, not looking back at what could have been different or ahead at what I could do to help or fix it. I’ve gotten a little better at trying to figure out what the person might want or need and following that rather than what would either work for me or make me feel better. I hope, when the time comes, and I am the recipient of praise or reprimand, or when I am in need of comfort or sharing a joy, that I remember to frame the situation with grace, for, when the time comes, everyone simply tries to do their best. 

Marilyn