Beyond the promises

My vacation started with an early morning flight to Las Vegas. We picked up a car and drove Route 66 to Sedona, AZ. It was a long but very interesting day, and I was enjoying watching the clouds come across the mountains as I sat on the patio off our hotel room. There was a brief but loud storm. Then came the rainbow. And, then, another. A double rainbow was a marvelous start to my trip.

What I forget - and perhaps you do, too - is that the rainbow is there as a reminder. Sure, there is science behind it, but it didn’t start with science. It started with a promise. In the Genesis story it is not Noah who says, “I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature.” No, it is God who explained that this rainbow will be a new thing, a sign representing a promise that God was making right then, right after the flood God thought was necessary to cleanse the world.

When I need to remember something, I write it on my to-do list, on a post-it, or send myself an email. I don’t understand the theology behind God needing a reminder, but I do understand the feelings. There is fear that, given enough time, events, even enormous ones, lose their impact. History is full of phrases like Remember the Alamo, or Lest We Forget. God didn’t, no, God doesn’t want to forget the promise to never again send such devastation. We need a new rainbow, a sign that another devastation is over. Not a promise to maybe think or talk about it. And, not from God, but from those in a position to do something about guns. And, we need it now.

Marilyn 

With a little bit

Eliza Doolittle’s father charms My Fair Lady audiences with his wish for a little bit of luck so he can have it all and not get caught. His song came to mind when I had a couple of “little bit” incidences this week. Both involved a twinge of guilt. After a long intense Monday that included an extended commute home, I bailed on my book club, consequently missing an evening with a group of interesting women. Early on Friday morning I emailed the staff saying that the office would be open even as the snow continued to accumulate to more than 8 inches in some places. The guilt was because I planned to work from home even as I urged them to travel safe.

It seems odd to focus on a “little bit” in this time of very, very big things. From mega this to super that, we expect big. And, despite our expectations and hopes, we usually experience or settle for the little bit and are often grateful. Most of us have known times when that extra little bit in the paycheck made a big difference. When that tiny light at the end of the tunnel gave us a glimmer of hope to help us get through. When that small act of kindness turned around a crappy day.

Right now we need a little hint of spring, of renewal for the spirit. Sure, for those of us digging out from blizzards, a crocus would be most welcome, but we are all waiting for that little bit of common sense, decency and truth to appear in the headlines. A little bit of a break from the constant barrage of things that cause us to shake our heads and ask, “What next?” When you experience any positive little bit this week, please pass it on. We’d all be a little bit better for it.

Marilyn

I'd be lost without it

No matter your age, there are things that we now rely on that didn’t exist the first ten years of your life. For those of us with more decades, that simply means more things.  But, whether you are a millennial or a boomer, we are all experiencing a rapid rate of change, including things that we would now be lost without. Our lives are fuller, our tasks easier, our choices greater. Take a minute to reflect and I’ll bet at least three things come to mind for you.

I’d be lost on the treadmill without my earbuds and phone that enable me to listen to a book and tune out the blaring music except for the beat that can give a rhythm to my strides. I’d be lost without that phone as my connection to others through calls, emails and texts and as a means to google, and without my iPad and computer on which to write. From Uber and GPS, which we literally might be lost without, in transportation to technology, from the arts to medicine, all areas of our lives have things we would be lost (or worse) without. 

But, there are many casualties to all of those beneficial things, and I think one of the greatest losses is silence. We are bombarded with noise, with the opportunity for noise, 24/7, so much so that many of us are uncomfortable in those rare moments of quiet. Not me. In fact, of late, I’ve been seeking it out more and more, reveling in the silence outdoors and in. It’s not always a peaceful or easy feeling, but ultimately it is calming and restful, and I’ve come to realize I’d be lost without it.

Marilyn

When the time comes

One of my responsibilities at the office is our Business Continuity and Disaster Recovery Plan. Reviewing it periodically forces me to think about all the scenarios for which we need to be prepared. I’ve written procedures for preventative measures to either eliminate or minimize the possibility of their occurrence and make us better able to cope should they happen. Headlines reinforce the necessity to have such plans in place, so, if and when the time comes, people follow practiced protocols.

There are many personal situations, both good and bad, for which we want to be prepared so that, when the time comes, we will know what to do, what to say. A father hoping for some words of wisdom to whisper as he waits to walk his daughter down the aisle. The welcome to a newborn. Final words to someone who is dying, or when it is us ready to breathe our last, what we might say to those standing with us at our end. 

What I’ve learned is that, once all the practicalities are handled, there are only two important things in those moments. The first is to actually be in that moment and the second is to allow for human frailty for everyone involved, including myself. These things are not easy. I still have a hard time staying in the moment, not looking back at what could have been different or ahead at what I could do to help or fix it. I’ve gotten a little better at trying to figure out what the person might want or need and following that rather than what would either work for me or make me feel better. I hope, when the time comes, and I am the recipient of praise or reprimand, or when I am in need of comfort or sharing a joy, that I remember to frame the situation with grace, for, when the time comes, everyone simply tries to do their best. 

Marilyn

Your choice

People ask where I get my ideas for these musings. Sometimes it is something I see during the week or a phrase I hear that triggers a “hmmm, that could develop into three paragraphs.” On rare occasions, the pieces write themselves, but mostly, I’m surprised where things end up or how a promising idea goes nowhere beyond a couple of sentences. Usually there are too many possibilities. Consider the headlines. From marches and pink hats to an infant named for a city (hey, it could have been Walla Walla), the material is ripe.

So, this week, I thought I’d give you a glimpse into some of the stops and starts that lead to a weekly column. Following are five opening thoughts I had for today’s blog. Select the one that triggers that “hmmm” and just see where your mind goes for 10 seconds.

• Women are gathering, as they did a year ago, to stand together.
• Harbingers of spring popped up all around today
• A milestone is a stone pillar at the side of the road that signifies the distance to a place, a very literal thing but whose meaning evolved.
• Learning to simply say thank you is hard.
• Take a class on writing headlines and, nine times out of ten, they will tell you to include a number. 

If you did the 10 second, “hmmm” on one of those topics, you’ve experienced a lot of what my weekly attempt at sharing some thoughts with you is like. Either a couple of things came to mind and you wonder how they might fit together, or your mind went blank. Now, isn’t that how a lot of life works on a daily basis, and who knew that’s where this final sentence would go? 

Marilyn

Job descriptions

We are wrapping up an interesting exercise at the office where we have each rewritten our job description. The process included input from peers, bosses, and direct reports. We identified tasks currently charged to us that we believe belong elsewhere in the organization as well as overlaps and gaps, issues that will generate thoughtful negotiations. It will be someone’s job (possibly mine) to recreate this exercise periodically to ensure that work flows and changes in the marketplace and the organization are incorporated so that all job descriptions remain relevant and current.

Wouldn’t it be helpful if all the roles in our lives came with job descriptions? And if we had to occasionally review them? For parents, partners, colleagues, friends, lovers to intentionally discuss who does what, plus the why and how? As children grow, as parents age, as circumstances change, to revisit expectations? As relationships deepen and broaden, such reviews may happen organically. But, it sure is easy to get in a rut and not allow dynamics to shift, or the people involved to evolve, or to get hung up on semantics, for I recall times in my career when title and positions on org charts mattered.

Perhaps more important, particularly after the headlines this week, would be for us to examine our collective job description as decent human beings. To have those hard discussions about how we deal with the marginalized. About the language we use to address one another. About the issue of power. And for each of us to prioritize how we utilize resources to reflect that job description, for this is the job for which we will be held most accountable. If we want our legacy to be a job well done, the process starts with a detailed job description focused on equity and equality.

Marilyn

The walls come tumbling down

This may be radical, but I’m for building more walls. I’ve done no research, so am just using my logic, but I think the original purpose of a wall was to support a roof that protected our ancestors from the elements. They were duplicating a cave. I imagine they started with a lean-to, and worked up to three walls. Then they figured out a rock or animal skin could cover a doorway in the fourth, making things nice and cozy.

So, from my analysis, let us indeed build walls in Mexico City, Houston, Puerto Rico, California, in war torn places around the globe, and for the homeless. Maybe if we work together to provide our fellow human beings with protection from the elements, we will tear down the walls of we vs. them. Maybe we will realize that even though we may work hard, our own walls are all fleeting. Perhaps by building walls, walls may come tumbling down.

Marilyn