Sunday, June 30, 2013

Underwater

What are some of your earliest memories?  I have two flashes of images and feelings of my toddler stage.  One is running (well, toddling) on the grass toward grandma and throwing my arms around her smokestack leg.  My senses are enfolded in sunshine, freedom, love, acceptance, and utter joy.

The other is about a year later.  I’ve escaped the grownups and head toward the lake.  When I try to step off the pier onto a rowboat, the boat of course moves and I fall into the lake.  Uncle Bob scooped me up so I wasn’t underwater for long.  Surprise, shock, fear, and confusion engulf me as he holds me as he always did in a one-armed embrace with me facing away.  In today’s language I would be saying, “What the…?”
Both happenings – the reality, my changing perceptions and interpretations – are part of the foundation of my childhood and who I am today.  Those few seconds in the lake made it difficult for me to pass junior lifesaving as I have an aversion to swimming underwater, although I managed, and a problem with breath control challenged me as a singer.  I overcame the water part somewhat and have snorkeled along the coral reef in Mexico.  The breath control issue, not so much. 

Both images – the freedom and the fear, the uncertainty and the love – pop up in the periphery of my brain and give me insight to a current situation and my reaction to it.  For whatever reason they were pivotal moments that have helped me maneuver the road of my life.  Only now do I realize that it was a blessing to retain the two experiences in my memory and that they represent a balance of good and bad.
Whatever your defining moments were, whether a sibling scared you with a spider or a favorite aunt treated you like royalty, I hope that one of them makes you smile and brings you warmth in the cold and dark place where the monster under the bed still occasionally resides.

Marilyn

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