The stages of suffixes

When we are young we often see our place in our peer group defined by “ –est.” With a September birthday I was usually the youngest in my class. I was often the shortest and due to a lifelong struggle, among the largest. I had friends who were the opposite. Those extremes are objective and defined by numbers. The subjective “est’s” are trickier. Stereotypically, girls want to be the prettiest, discounting that we are such in our parents’ eyes, and young boys aim for the strongest, not buying in to the brains over brawn theory. Nicest and meanest are slippery slopes that might include elements of wimp vs. standing for one’s rights. We think that smartest means the best grades not understanding it would better to be the wisest, something that Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory might argue.

Add on a couple of years and we shift from “-est” to “-er” as in “I’m taller than…” or “our house is bigger than…” Much of this gets internalized as “I’m better than…” which helps us once again find our spot in the pecking order of things. We adjust to being more in the middle but still compare ourselves to others. We continue to look up to or down on those who remain at the extremes either by perception or fact.

With a few more years comes some self-acceptance and we make the best of what we have and who we are with ‘ly’ descriptions. We call ourselves comely or moderately good-looking. We figure out we can handle things adeptly or quickly. Before we know it we take on more roles and besides being daught-er we are now ‘one who’ such as moth-er, teach-er, manag-er, act-or.

I’ve liked entering the ‘ive’ place in life. This is where I can acknowledge that my looks might be distinctive. I realize there are things I can do to make who I am as a whole be attractive. My outlook and abilities make me creative and, more important, inclusive. Growing disabilities are disruptive and cause me to be reflective.

Now there is no prestigious study behind this musing, just some random thoughts woven together as I do so enjoy flushing out an idea, making pieces fit. Perhaps you’ve got your own suffix thoughts or, allow me to be suggestive, maybe together we can explore prefixes another time.

Marilyn