Rock-paper-scissors

From drawing straws, flipping a coin, or “eenie meenie miny mo,” we learn early on in life that many decisions and outcomes are out of our control, even when we follow a proven process. We also learn that sometimes there are ways to beat the odds, that some people cheat, and that sometimes cheaters don’t get caught or punished.

As the consequences of our choices become more important, we add other skills and elements to our decision-making process. Research. Advice. Best practices. We might draw from other traditions, such as convening a Quaker-style Clearing Committee, or we might meditate. We develop our own style and discover what it takes for us to be comfortable with our answer or solution. We choose how much or how little to engage others as we methodically work our process. One friend involves everyone in her circle in major and minor concerns and another simply makes an announcement of something his friends had not even known was an issue.

I have followed many courses in making both big and little decisions, but I usually fall in that latter category. After a lot of mulling in the back of my mind, I make decisions quickly. How I get to a decision mostly involves following my gut with not a lot of outside influence. If I could package what makes one thing feel more right than another, well, Shark Tank might provide some backing.

While we have come a long way from rock-paper-scissors, particularly when there is no moral right or wrong path, it can seem that, even after lots of deliberation, our adult process is ultimately no better than our childhood methods. It make take us longer and be much more involved, but often it is still a game of chance. And, whatever our usual procedure, it will only work when we have a say-so in the decision. Too often change is imposed on us by outside sources. What we do when that happens, well, that’s a different musing.

Marilyn