Substitutions

One year a friend and I were going out for Thanksgiving dinner.  She called a couple of restaurants and asked if they were serving real turkey and made reservations at one that said yes.  When our meal arrived, it was rolled turkey loaf, that meat equivalent of plywood.  We asked for the manager, who, when we explained that our meal was not what we expected based on the phone conversation, apologized but stated that what they were selling was indeed real turkey, just not carved from a bird.

We come to understand the concept of substitutions in elementary school when faced with a different person standing at the head of the class.  It’s not fair, but we somehow interpreted that ‘substitute’ did not mean ‘equal’ and first graders long for their ‘real’ teacher to return.  Unfortunately, that concept has been strengthened by a bad experience with ‘fake,’ be it fake fur that did not keep us warm, or someone who turned out to be a fake friend.

We’ve gotten used to a lot of food substitutes – sweeteners in small packets, whipped cream in a can, imitation butter in a plastic tub.  There are hydrated potatoes and onion flakes and reduced fat cheeses.  Silk flowers and replica art pieces adorn mantles.  Unbreakable plastic dishes sit in cupboards.  Synthetic materials hang in our closets.

Some of these alternatives are actually healthier plus they may save time and money or even our environment.  Our tastes can shift and we actually prefer diet drinks to regular, low sodium salami, and light mayonnaise. We’ve heard stories or seen All About Eve where the understudy gets a break and becomes a star or watched a game where the 2^nd string athlete is sent in at the last moment and makes an outstanding play.

Many of us will gather around a table this Thursday to celebrate with family.  For some, that family will be substitutes, our family of the heart, because distances of all kinds separate us from relatives.  For some, the substitutes have become real through adoption or blended and foster families.  Some of us may simply settle in front of the TV or monitor or curl up with a book, alone by choice or circumstance, creating our own substitution for the feelings the Norman Rockwell Freedom From Want painting represents.

However you spend Thursday, may you experience one genuine connection, and may that connection remind us all that there is no substitution for our relationships with one another.  For those I am most grateful.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Marilyn