Where should we go?

Travel, whether over the river and through the woods or Midway to JFK, is an integral part of this season. People make plans to spend time with family and friends, near and far. Some people balance family connections by alternating years with different limbs of the tree or by having multiple celebrations. Travel plans, even just across town, contribute to the hustle and bustle of the holidays.

The same is true for the various characters in stories associated with this time of year. Frosty runs through the town. The Grinch goes up and down the mountain. Santa traverses the world in one night and children who worry about him finding their house can now track his sleigh online.

In the early chapters of the Nativity story, a newly pregnant Mary goes about 80 miles, probably walking, to see her older cousin Elizabeth who is three months from having her first child. After John is born, Mary, now in her second trimester, returns to Nazareth where she then has some time before she and Joseph, along with countless others, have to travel about 70 miles to Bethlehem for the recently ordered census. For that trip Joseph may have rented or borrowed a donkey so Mary could ride rather than walk. They made the trip with a lot of faith. Faith that they would arrive safely and find accommodations. Faith that perhaps Mary would make it back home before the baby arrived. But there were no rooms and a kind innkeeper showed them a stable where Joseph and Mary used straw for comfort and warmth.

Angels tell shepherds around Bethlehem about a newborn, destined to be the savior. They decide to go see for themselves, but all they knew was that the baby boy was resting in a manger in a very busy city. So they hurried with a lot of faith that they would be able to find that baby by depending on the word on the street where that particular child was. My guess is each time they asked someone about a baby in a manger they told of their heavenly visitors and the birth announcement. Some neighbors probably laughed; others may have tagged along, so that by the time they found the correct stable, there were more than just the shepherds arriving to pay their respects.

The wise men also had to ask for directions. Their GPS, the star in the east that they faithfully followed, only got them so far. Unfortunately, they stopped at the wrong service station, for King Herod had heard of the prophesies of a King to be born in Bethlehem. Asking that they keep him informed, Herod sends them on their way, but the wise men would still have to continue to ask about a newborn when they got into the city. By that time there may have been more of a buzz about one particular stable which they finally found. These foreign visitors had the sense to not share their findings with Herod and they returned to their homelands by a different route.

Joseph and Mary traveled six more miles to Jerusalem to take their son to the temple for thanksgiving and dedication and soon after that fled to Egypt to escape Herod's massacre of infants. A couple of years later they returned home to Nazareth.

Many around the world today are asking where they should go. They are traveling, in faith, following dreams, hopes and promises, seeking a safe future. They are walking, running, boating, flying, sometimes following leads, but often just moving to get away, unsure where they are going and what lies ahead. 

There is a lot of rhetoric about closing borders, about forcing many who thought they had finished their journey to leave. Just like the stress that comes with preparing for and having people, even family and friends, in our homes, there is stress in welcoming strangers. Our country needs to find a way to balance that stress with prudence and do the right thing, answering the question, "where should we go?" with a resounding "here!" 

Marilyn

Gone by the wayside

When was the last time a driver waved a thanks to you after you let them go ahead? Or you flashed your lights at an approaching car to let them know their lights were not on and they understood what you were communicating?

Many little courtesies, practices and norms have gone the way of the caboose, housedresses and handkerchiefs. Some societal niceties, like those above, I miss. Others, not so much. As a woman who grew up in the emerging feminist era, I always struggled with the 'men open the door for women' thing. To me it was whoever got there first or had free hands. When I started dating, the tradition of men standing up when a woman entered the room still existed. We were taught to expect it and to judge the boy negatively when he didn't follow that rule. In a required freshmen orientation session in college, we practiced handing our beau money surreptitiously under the table so the boy could be the one to pay, even if it was Dutch treat.

Back in the day when most people went to church or temple, they dressed up, or at least nicely, hence the phrase 'Sunday best.' Now congregants dress casually, enter the sanctuary carrying a coffee cup for themselves and a bag of Cheerios for their three-year-old who brought toys to play with. I appreciate a more casual, inclusive atmosphere, but sometimes sigh at baseball caps and pajama bottoms in the sanctuary.

Old fashioned products like Borax and fels-naptha, once a necessity in a home, are rarely seen anymore. Handwritten letters, even at this time of year, and two stickers supporting a cause that sealed the envelope, are scarce. Diagraming sentences that might compose those letters is probably a foreign concept in today's classrooms. Aprons are worn when they are monogrammed either to indicate success or a sense of humor. Trick-or-treaters can no longer go inside a neighbor's home for cider and a homemade cinnamon doughnut. Neither could Christmas carolers, if there was such a thing anymore of people going door to door singing, but such a seasonal connection has disappeared along with the Fuller Brush Man. 

This topic started during a conversation with a friend who told me to write about the fact that people don't walk correctly on sidewalk anymore. We were trained that people going in one direction walk next to the building and those going the other way walk on the outside. Nowadays people are looking down at their phones and not paying any attention to their surroundings, let alone to where they are 'supposed to be' walking.

I'll bet if you let your mind wander or pay some attention this week to your daily activities, you could create a list of your own, noting things that have gone by the wayside. Some you might miss even as you celebrate that others, like most racist language, are gone. Here is one constant, however, that has not changed – the need for peace on earth and good will to all. May you also see seeds of that being fulfilled this week.

Happy Holidays!

Marilyn

Where is the dark horse?

Where is the dark horse?

In my safe liberal bubble where I try to balance being informed with avoiding the headlines, I keep waiting for sane and sage words to come out of some unknown's mouth. From either side of the aisle. I'm looking for the Jimmy Carter of today, or even a Gary Hart, for someone articulate and wise to kind of come from nowhere.

In my election fantasy this far out from the actual election, there are no debates, no frontrunners and millions have not already been raised or spent. Instead voters and the media are holding those currently in office accountable for getting things done and those in an elected office are working on the tough issues. Together. And getting things done. Now.

Growing up in a Republican household of the 1950s, I had a rhinestone I Like Ike pin. Well, my mother did and I got to wear it for dress up. I think she got it from a precinct volunteer who stayed with me while she went to vote. That's my earliest election memory – me left with a stranger in the house because voting is important. My second memory is the form letter (although I didn't know that's what it was at the time) I received from Richard Nixon in response to my condolence note when he lost the 1960 election. I'm hoping that was a school assignment. That election also taught me that families can be divided over candidates.

Regular readers may be reminded that I can rant and rave over the 24/7/365 news media that gives too many people an extended 15 minutes. A name in a headline, a clip on a news program lends a certain legitimacy to a person or an event. I know It's a hard balance for reporters to uncover news vs. pseudo-news and when and how to let readers and viewers know what is important. Our time is taken with so much non-news it's harder still to get and keep our attention.

This week we have heard this week some absurd suggestions. But I see a potential positive. All of the racist comments about and actions toward candidate and then President Obama were shocking and disturbing, but somehow remained surface and never generated a meaningful national debate. Perhaps we will go deeper to our root collective fears of the different, the other, and discover the commonality of humanity. Perhaps there will be meaningful dialogue around the water cooler, in the classroom, and yes, in the news. 

At the beginning I said I am trying to balance being informed while avoiding the headlines. I also need to balance my inner skeptic with my hope that there will be positive steps made while I'm still around to see them. As someone with one ancestor who was a founder of Hartford, CT and another who was hung as a witch in the early days of our country, I say that we need actions that begin to take down rather than strengthen the barriers that divide us all in so many ways. In this growing extended election cycle we seem to have an opportunity to do that. Fingers crossed.

Marilyn

Storytelling

How would you answer the question, "Are you a good storyteller?" My guess is that most of us would respond in the negative when, I think, we all should reply with a resounding 'Yes!' Everyone tells several stories every day. We don't realize it because we tend to think about stories as fiction. We think of stories as words written by someone else, someone who has skills and learning beyond our own abilities. We forget about autobiographies. We forget that we are the author of our own story and that we are ever and always telling it. How we dress tells a story. How we organize and decorate our home tells a story. How we actually tell a story, such as relating something that happened to us, be it around the water cooler or over the phone or a cup of coffee with a friend, tells our version of an experience. If that experience includes other people, their description would be different. It is by putting all the stories together that a detective might solve a case and how reporters craft the news. Some days we scream the plot, the emotions, the setting, the characters. Other times we barely utter a whisper. There are people who readily tell details to any and every one, sometimes even including TMI, and those who keep their stories secret or hidden until a friend finds the right crowbar to open the book just a crack. Besides not understanding that we are a storyteller we forget that we are also the author. We can claim the power of the pen. With it we can turn the page, delete, change the narrative, rewrite, that is we can claim control of our own story. At least to a certain extent. Sometimes we need to find a co-writer. Or an editor. Or inspiration. As we prepare collectively to turn the calendar page in a few weeks, here are a couple of possible exercises for all of us autobiographers.  ü  If you look at your life today as part of your story, what is the name of the chapter you are in and what do you want the next chapter to be?  ü  Is there a storyline that you need to pick back up and bring to some conclusion?  ü  Is there a primary or secondary character who needs to reappear or get written off?  ü  Is it time for some comedic relief? Is the drama is out of control? Do you need to insert some type of action?  ü  Is it time to let someone else hear a certain part of your story? ü  What story do you need or want to tell today? I've not thought of my weekly musing as storytelling but in following today's premise, they are, so I'll bring this chapter to a close and mull on those possibilities myself. Let me know if you have a ready answer. Marilyn