In the dark

Most of us don’t experience the total darkness our ancestors once did. Whether it is just the LED of the modem or clock radio or the light on the smoke alarm, it is hard to find an inside place that is completely dark. Outside there are motion light sensors, streetlamps, blinking car alarms, or even iridescent clothing that break up the dark in the neighborhood and distant city lights brighten a nighttime sky.

When I was growing up I occasionally got to sleep in what we called the attic. It was so named because it had no floor radiator so it got cold, and because there was a side alcove for trunks and cedar chests and the like and a small door for access to storage under the eaves. The attic also got totally dark. The heavy drapes over the two windows blocked out any light. I loved to sleep in that room, particularly in the winter, bundled up under layers of comforters.

There were many years when I could only fall asleep if the room was really dark. It was a time when I was travelling a lot for both business and pleasure and I kept a couple large metal binder clips in my suitcase since so often the drapes in hotel rooms don’t close or overlap well. That need gradually changed. Now I travel with a nightlight. I also recently lived in a place where my bed was right under the window and I could look up and gaze at the night sky.

All of this is to say that we need contrasts in our lives. We need the light and the dark. The liturgy for these Epiphany Sundays has been about coming out of the chaotic dark. I think that sometimes we need to be in the dark, both literally and figuratively. We need to rest and to wait, to curl up under whatever comforting layers we can find as we listen and face in the dark what we are not yet ready to take into the light. Some things that are in the dark need to be brought into the light when we are ready to face them. Some things we need to pack away in one of those trunks in a dark attic and leave them there. Maybe we’ll go back for them one day or maybe not and either is ok. There are also areas of life where we may choose to remain ignorant.

Whatever dark space we are currently in, we can decide when and how to emerge. We just need to make sure that a) we know how we got there in the first place, b) that we have choices on coming into dim or bright at the appropriate time, and c) however dark, we still have the contrast of light inside us. Or as Elizabeth Kubler Ross said, “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

Marilyn