Many little courtesies, practices
and norms have gone the way of the caboose, housedresses and handkerchiefs.
Some societal niceties, like those above, I miss. Others, not so much. As a
woman who grew up in the emerging feminist era, I always struggled with the
'men open the door for women' thing. To me it was whoever got there first or
had free hands. When I started dating, the tradition of men standing up when a
woman entered the room still existed. We were taught to expect it and to judge
the boy negatively when he didn't follow that rule. In a required freshmen
orientation session in college, we practiced handing our beau money surreptitiously
under the table so the boy could be the one to pay, even if it was Dutch treat.
Back in the day when most people
went to church or temple, they dressed up, or at least nicely, hence the phrase
'Sunday best.' Now congregants dress casually, enter the sanctuary carrying a
coffee cup for themselves and a bag of Cheerios for their three-year-old who
brought toys to play with. I appreciate a more casual, inclusive atmosphere,
but sometimes sigh at baseball caps and pajama bottoms in the sanctuary.
Old fashioned products like Borax
and fels-naptha, once a necessity in a home, are rarely seen anymore.
Handwritten letters, even at this time of year, and two stickers supporting a
cause that sealed the envelope, are scarce. Diagraming sentences that might
compose those letters is probably a foreign concept in today's classrooms.
Aprons are worn when they are monogrammed either to indicate success or a sense
of humor. Trick-or-treaters can no longer go inside a neighbor's home for cider
and a homemade cinnamon doughnut. Neither could Christmas carolers, if there
was such a thing anymore of people going door to door singing, but such a
seasonal connection has disappeared along with the Fuller Brush Man.
This topic started during a
conversation with a friend who told me to write about the fact that people
don't walk correctly on sidewalk anymore. We were trained that people going in
one direction walk next to the building and those going the other way walk on
the outside. Nowadays people are looking down at their phones and not paying
any attention to their surroundings, let alone to where they are 'supposed to
be' walking.
I'll bet if you
let your mind wander or pay some attention this week to your daily activities,
you could create a list of your own, noting things that have gone by the
wayside. Some you might miss even as you celebrate that others, like most
racist language, are gone. Here is one constant, however, that has not changed –
the need for peace on earth and good will to all. May you also see seeds of
that being fulfilled this week.
Happy Holidays!
Marilyn
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ReplyDeleteI love it! I actually still use Borax, often tell men/boys to pull up their pants, and had my gas pumped for me in New Jersey a couple of years ago (it's the law). You mentioned people not paying attention while walking down the street. I thought you were going to mention how men used to walk on the "outside" of the street, to protect their companions from getting splashed, or whatever.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if you move in the wrong circles, highways, and sidewalks. I actually have encountered some of the behaviors you cite as "gone" quite frequently, especially drivers' courtesy. True, there is plenty of discourtesy to more than balance this. I see some of the male-female anachronisms, but less often as the years go by, I agree. I miss some of the "dress up" formality, as this connoted that the event was something special. Happy New Year.
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