'and then' times

We've all experienced 'and then' times. Our 'and then' times are either long periods where each day can be condensed into 'and then' activities, summarizing what kept us busy, or periods of good or bad disruptions to the routine. Just yesterday one friend had a blip that included "and then I was rear-ended and probably need a new car," this after recently losing her job, while another's 'and then' was a twisted ankle on the last day of vacation in Hong Kong. A third friend recently celebrated a milestone 'and then' when she told her employer she was retiring even as she prepares to move from a house she's lived in for a couple of decades.

For me, 2016 has been an 'and then' year. It started in January when I walked into the glass wall through the fact that a week ago I was in the hospital with a morphine epidural post-surgery. You may have given some thought to your ‘and then’ times, but here's what I've learned about mine:

• When there are no traumas or joyous interruptions, the days blend together and, if I am not careful, I keep busy doing but not necessarily living or moving my life forward. I fill the minutes but not necessarily my life.
• I come from a comparing people. How do I compare to you? When I experience a series of challenges, hurts or disruptions, it is easy to fall into the 'poor me' mode until I encounter someone in more dire straits. Comparisons provide some perspective to jostle me out of those 'poor me/and then' times.
• Comparisons can also make me bitter, envious or jealous when I see a series of 'and then' good things happen to others, even to those close to me. Maturity and love now allows me to recognize the envy while still celebrating the other's good fortune.
• When I experience my own 'and then' blessings I downplay them, don't share the news with some people and usually don't take the time to bask in the brightness and joy.  I have a smidgen of fear that the good is undeserved and the knowledge that good times don't last.
• I have used my 'and then' challenges to either isolate myself or embrace everyone around me who loves me and wants to lend support.  I can affirm that allowing others to walk the difficult path with me is much better. It has made my year richer and the 'and then' trials not as hard.

So, I challenge you. The next ‘and then’ that comes your way, good or bad, share it in a different way than you normally would. See what happens.

Marilyn