You're (never) too old

When I was five, I was told I was too old for two things. The first was my blankie, a small quilted square my grandmother had made me and that I held onto at night. In bed. Like a comforter. The second was sitting on my father's lap. The loss of both of those broke my heart and confused me. Three decades later I learned that taking those things away from me also broke my mother's heart, but she was doing what the experts in some parenting book told her to do. She said if she had it to do over, she would have followed her gut, not the directions. In that conversation she modeled that you are never too old and it is never too late to say you were wrong.

Now, I believe I may have shared those stories before, but this time I'm presenting them in a different light, giving my mother a break and focusing not on the earlier acts but on the regret she expressed. You're never too old to reframe or extend grace, even beyond the grave.

In the past few years several friends have made major moves across the country even as others are preparing to plant new roots thousands of miles away or just several blocks from their current suburban home. You're never too old to begin anew, to initiate a transition. Yesterday I was at a 90th birthday party. The birthday gal has had her struggles in life, but, despite not really wanting to be the center of attention, she allowed us to honor her. We're never too old to accept a gift or be thoughtful of others.

Society, or some might say propriety, dictates that people are too old for some things. Wearing miniskirts or speedos. Extreme sports or climbing a ladder. A lifetime of experience may tell us we are set in our ways, too old to change. There is some truth in not being able to teach an old dog new tricks. But, I'm equally sure that Victor Frankl's words, "when we can no longer change a situation we must change ourselves," are words I need to embrace. There are some new tricks that I'd like to employ. It won't be easy and will require courage. Probably along the way I'll face more lessons of you're (never) too old category like those mentioned above. Perhaps you've also a challenge you'd like to face. Join me. We can learn together.

Marilyn