If you are like me, you make a lot of snap decisions and you're good at them. Well, except maybe which express line to get in. As I matured, I've tried to pay attention to the consequences of my quick judgements in relation to people. How, by using appearance as the primary factor for putting others in boxes, I cut myself off from opportunities to connect with people whose life stories may seem to be vastly different from mine, but who, in truth, are on a parallel journey. I think I was doing a decent job of it in relation to gender, race, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, class, and even political leanings. Then came the tattoos and piercings. When I became aware that I was forming an opinion about the young men and women I encountered on a daily basis simply because they had chosen to do something with their body that was contrary to the norms in my world, I realized I needed to stop my instant evaluations of body art and adornment.
I'll admit it is still hard not to scrutinize and make assumptions. It certainly is often very difficult to not have my eye keep going to the nose ring or the ink. I've leaned that even though I might be intrigued about a design, symbol or word that someone is displaying, tattoos are quite personal and it's impolite to ask.
Yes, we older folks want to warn and caution the next generations about so many things, but we had to try so many things on our own as well, even as our elders judged us for rock 'n roll and miniskirts and protesting a war. And, speaking as one who knows that some people may look at me - short, round and greying - and jump to their own conclusions, I try to enter every greeting with an assumption that we are on common ground, for, after all, who am I to judge?
Marilyn
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