Fitting in or Flitting In . . . and Out

Several weeks ago in the post, Will You Be My Guest?, I invited readers to take a chance to write a blog.  Please welcome the first!  Today's guest blogger is someone who has spent a lifetime enjoying words and having to use them carefully in social justice initiatives around the world.  She and Marilyn met nearly 20 years ago during a time of transition in both of their lives and her musing today is a result of some reflections as she experiences another one of life's major changes.

 

 

Some of us spend much of our lives trying to "fit in"-- at a new school or job, in a new neighborgood, or with new friends and family members.   When in that process do we know we have arrived?  What signals a "good fit?"  It can be agony trying to fit in, trying to find some sense of balance, comfort and nurture.

 

I've always assumed (even socialized to believe) that the "fitter" was the norm.  Someone who could put down roots, make deep friendships, commit to a meaningful job and family.   But what if being a "flitter" is just as valuable and as much of a gift?   What if moving among people and in places you love, so that you don't have to give up precious moments in special places with friends and family members who are significant to you, is just as valuable?

 

I've only lived in a few places in my lifetime, for long periods, with commitments to people and place and work, but also manage to "flit" around to be with people left behind in one of those periods, who still have a piece of my heart or  are connected by blood, even in far off countries.   So does that make me a "Fit Flittler?"   By some standards, it makes me an outsider, perceived by some as unable to totally settle.

 

Who's to say that restlessness, fueled by curiousity and a sense of adventure isn't a gift as well?  It might be time to let the criticism roll off and move into the expansiveness provided by flitting. .   My regard for people who  stay put and root and nurture those around them is great, so there will always be that little sense of envy . . and guilt. 

 

How about you?  Ae you a Fitter or a Flitter?  Which one suits your life and personality and spirit?