Patron Saint of Perpetual Disappointment

On my way home from work the other day the narrator of the book I was listening to read a passage where a woman referred to her mother as the Patron Saint of Perpetual Disappointment. I don't think I heard anything else for several minutes. That phrase made me chuckle but also made me sad. It accurately described my own mother and I have known others who could vie for that title.

The idea of such a patron saint triggered a list of others I've encountered, and perhaps you'll recognize some of them yourself. So with no disrespect to those who actually deserve the title of saint, here are a few I'm annointing. There's the Patron Saint of:

• Shirked Responsibility, the person who always has an excuse and nothing is ever their fault. From any type of deadbeat parent to the person who doesn't blow the whistle, there are lots of people eligible for this one.
• Shifting Focus, that individual who turns every story, every conversation around until it is all about them. Whether it's a 'you think you had a bad day, let me tell you about mine' or a 'sorry that happened to you but when I was robbed...' this person steals everyone's thunder, so maybe they are really the Patron Saint of Thunder Stealers.
• Gloom and Doom, or someone like Henny Penny whose outlook is that the sky is always falling and the glass is half empty. We all have down days, but this is the person who looks at the world through cloudy lenses. 
• Last Words, you know that debater who has something to say even after a topic is closed or people are walking away. Even if their last word is 'goodbye' this person needs to be the one to end any encounter.
• Juicy Gossip, the neighbor who doesn't know how to straddle the line between sharing and spreading. "I probably shouldn't be telling you this," or "You may not have heard" are common phrases that this character employs.
• Perennial Whining, for whom nothing is ever good enough and they let you know it. This is usually delivered with a tone of voice that deserves the classification as Patron Saint of Annoying Timbre. 
• Prejudiced Snobbery, whose way of doing everything is the best way, the only way and the right way. These people live in a very small world that gets smaller all the time as they offend those around them.

Unfortunately, there are also some 'honors' that I believe we all would be in contention for, including the Patron Saint of Best Intentions, which should not be confused with a similar category, the Patron Saint of Procrastination. There are days when I'm snarky that I feel like I project the image of the Patron Saint of Poor Me but there are those who try for that title regularly when they rattle of their to do list or their excuses.

While the above are stereotypes, we all know people we could place in nomination for each of them. Perhaps when I next encounter a person in my life who matches a category, I'll smile while they are doing their thing. I'll be envisioning them wearing a crown with the appropriate heading.

Marilyn