What matters

When you are seven years old and you don't get the one birthday present you secretly wanted, it matters. When you are fourteen and everyone else has pierced ears but your parents say you have to wait until you are sixteen, it matters. When you don't get accepted at your number one college choice, your life takes a turn.

These days what matters to me is getting value in what I spend, be it time, energy or money. If I start a book and the words on the page or the voice on the tape doesn't grab me fairly quickly, I pick up another read or eject the CD. I used to feel I needed to plod through. If the acting is awful or the plot unconvincing or the dialogue doesn't make me at least smile, I change channels. I used to give more pilots a chance.

A friend and I were at dinner the other night at a favorite restaurant. Since my last visit the menu had changed. Prices were higher and the selections seemed more limited. My meal was mediocre and lukewarm. When so advised our server at least offered alternatives. Out of loyalty I will go there one more time. Loyalty matters. Up to a point.

Also important to me are deepening relationships with dear friends even as I make room for new ones. Spending time with people who matter matters. Having a balance of time with others and time alone matters because that keeps me balanced. As does time in nature.

There are times in our lives when ambition matters, having certain things matter or even knowing the right people matter. I think I've packed those things away in order to focus on the last two thing that matter to me that I will log here. The first is the need to keep learning. Whether it is a new card game or software or form of art, I will keep trying to conquer new skills and go to new places. I don't know how much travel will be part of my life in years to come. Certainly not what I had once envisioned, but experiencing new peoples and places is high on my list of lifelong learning, even if it be through exhibits at a museum.

Finally what matters to me is the ability to be surprised. Sometimes I am surprised by joy and delight; sometimes I shake my head at the stupidity or the waste even as I'm glad that my heart isn't hardened or my outlook so cynical that I always expect the worst.

I'm sure that in narrowing down what matters to me in the paragraphs above that I have missed a key thing or two. So, one last thing. It matters to me that you point out what they are.

Marilyn