Versus

We live in a versus world. Us versus Them. The 'us' and the 'them' varies depending on geography, age, religion, politics, income, job, education, race, gender, well, things that make us human. Whether it's the Hatfields and the McCoys, the North and the South, the Cubs and the Sox, red and blue states, competition, opposition and a dividing line is part of our culture. 

As social beings we seek out and are a member of many Us's, which, then, by definition, makes us many Thems as well. Some are obvious, some we embrace, some we advertise and some we attempt to hide. We all, in our desperation to not be alone, have made some unwise choices. Whether it was a momentary attraction, passion or need, some relationships create an internal struggle and we end up with an unhealthy Us.  Sometimes an Us shifts and we have to reassess if we still are in alignment or if we suddenly are on the outs and have shifted to a Them. Some Us's last.

The 'us' makes each person part of something, a contributor providing value. Fans in the stands do high fives when a player on their team scores, figuring that their cheering and support led to that point, that run, that touchdown. Robust 'us' groups will acknowledge when someone of the 'them' makes a good play as well. 

Versus helps us stretch and grow. We study to make sure we have all of the facts for our position in a debate or to know when to make a stand. Some Versus themselves become famous, such as Roe or Brown, and shape portions of our society. As I moved up the ranks within AT&T, I went from an employee who was a union member to someone in management. The divide was always there, heightened every three years during contract negotiations. 

You may be wondering where this is headed. Me, too, as I write this. It could end one way or the other. That's the problem with versus. It's an either/or dichotomy when I'm trying to find more 'and' in the world and in my life. At least when we were young we played cops and robbers, cowboys and Indians. To be fair, you had to switch sides. Maybe we wouldn't have such a sense of contentiousness in our Us vs. Them world if we did some role reversals and at least came to understand the other position from a different perspective. One can only hope. Or not.

Marilyn